{"id":135,"date":"2012-03-25T00:00:31","date_gmt":"2012-03-25T04:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/?p=135"},"modified":"2012-03-22T21:42:22","modified_gmt":"2012-03-23T01:42:22","slug":"chapter-thirteen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/?p=135","title":{"rendered":"Chapter Thirteen"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

I walk along an empty street,
\nDown a boulevard of shattered dreams.
\nThe city sleeps
\nAs I walk alone.
\nMy shadows are the only things who walk beside me,
\nA shallow heart is all that\u2019s beating,
\nBut I wish someone out there would find me,
\nTake me home to stay,
\nBut until they do I walk alone.<\/h3>\n

— attributed to Ryland LeSarte c. 4837 PD; it is asserted by Erich Quizibian that it is, in fact, a quotation of lyric poetry from twentieth century Earth<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

26 Octem, 5249 PD<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t let him do this, Marshal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam Windsor stiffened.\u00a0 His back was to his door again, and he was back to looking at topographical maps of the western coast of the continent, plotting the hot spots for any potential landings that might be sourced from the new Earth congloms.\u00a0 A part of him had known that Lindsay Farragut would come to him about Grace\u2019s plan to rescue her parents.\u00a0 Another part of him had hoped that she would accept it and continue with life as normal in a world and existence where nothing was normal anymore, if it had ever been normal at all.<\/p>\n

He forced himself to relax and plot another point on the map.\u00a0 \u201cHow would you propose I stop him from volunteering to do this, Miss Farragut?\u00a0 Commander Cho made a choice.\u201d\u00a0 A choice that\u2019s probably the best of a host of bad choices, but a choice nonetheless.\u00a0 There\u2019s only one thing that\u2019s certain\u2014Grant and America can\u2019t be left alive in the hands of the congloms.<\/em>\u00a0 It was a painful but very true thought\u2014and an inescapable one.\u00a0 Rachel herself had said that her sister and brother-in-law could not be left in enemy hands alive.\u00a0 They knew too much.<\/p>\n

\u201cFind another way.\u00a0 Find someone else to go.\u00a0 I don\u2019t care how you do it or what you do.\u00a0 You can\u2019t let him go, Marshal.\u00a0 You can\u2019t.\u201d\u00a0 She closed the door behind her as she came further into the office, planting her hands on his desk and leaning against it.\u00a0 He turned to look at her.\u00a0 She seemed exhausted, upset, though she seemed to be struggling to mask that.<\/p>\n

The stern expression he\u2019d been cultivating since she\u2019d walked into the office melted, evaporating quickly in the face of remembering her as a frightened little girl struggling to cope with the magnitude of her psychic gift.\u00a0 That was the girl he was seeing before him, not the young woman who had over the years asserted herself admirably at Council meetings, defending herself from critics like D\u2019Arcy Morgause and defending her choices<\/em>\u2014choices like moving in with Brendan Cho seven years ago, like deciding to participate in research into the origins of the conglomerate system of New Earth, the other several dozen choices that for some reason had been questioned by the Council before they began to think about the fact that it was, in fact, her life, and she was entitled to have a little happiness even though she was the Oracle.\u00a0 \u201cLinny-pie,\u201d Adam said quietly, using the old nickname, the nickname he hadn\u2019t used since she was a little girl, since he\u2019d left she and her aunt alone in that house more than a decade before, \u201cthere\u2019s no one else who can do what he\u2019s going to have to do to make the plan work.\u00a0 If I order him not to go, the whole thing falls apart. \u00a0Ezra and Alana and whoever goes instead of Brendan and<\/em> your parents all die.\u201d<\/p>\n

She flinched, biting her lip.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not fair<\/em>,\u201d she said quietly.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s just not fair, Uncle Adam.\u00a0 It\u2019s not fair.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNone of this is fair, Linny-pie.\u201d\u00a0 He set down his stylus and moved from the maps toward where she stood leaning against his desk.\u00a0 \u201cThe fact that they never made it here themselves isn\u2019t fair.\u00a0 The fact that you had to grow up without them isn\u2019t fair.\u00a0 The fact that your three closest friends are probably the only<\/em> ones who can save them isn\u2019t fair.\u00a0 The galaxy isn\u2019t a fair place, Linny-pie.\u00a0 It never was and I don\u2019t think it ever will be.\u00a0 We play the hand of cards we\u2019re dealt.\u00a0 There\u2019s not many ways to cheat at the game, and you always pay for that cheating in the end anyhow.\u201d\u00a0 He touched her arm gently.\u00a0 \u201cWhy are you so afraid, Linny-pie?\u00a0 Brendan\u2019s good at what he does.\u00a0 Alana Chase is good at what she<\/em> does.\u00a0 Everything will be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head, eyes squeezed shut.\u00a0 \u201cBecause I can\u2019t lose him, Uncle Adam.\u00a0 I can\u2019t\u2026it\u2019s a risk and I\u2026I can\u2019t let\u2026\u201d\u00a0 She shuddered, hands curling into fists.\u00a0 \u201cI need<\/em> him.\u00a0 I need him with me and there\u2019s nothing that\u2019s going to change that.\u00a0 If something happens to him\u2014if he dies<\/em>\u2014I don\u2019t know what I\u2019ll do.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if I can keep living.\u201d<\/p>\n

He blinked and touched her shoulder.\u00a0 She straightened slowly, turning to look up at him.\u00a0 She bit her lip, shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t be the Oracle alone, Uncle Adam.\u00a0 I can\u2019t.\u00a0 I can\u2019t handle these visions by myself.\u00a0 I need him.\u00a0 I need him with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Something tugged at the back of his brain, urging him to press her for more information\u2014urging him to find out what she wasn\u2019t telling him.\u00a0 He told it to shut up.\u00a0 She needed the surrogate father he had been now, not the military commander that he was.\u00a0 \u201cIf it all goes according to plan, Linny-pie, you won\u2019t even have time to miss<\/em> him.\u201d\u00a0 He smiled paternally down at her.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s going to be okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head a little.\u00a0 \u201cHow do you know<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know it\u2019s not going to be?\u201d<\/p>\n

Lindsay bit down harder on her lip.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m scared, Uncle Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019m really, really scared.\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded, folding her into his arms and pinning her against his chest.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t struggle, just whimpered and hugged him back, the way she had when she was small and he\u2019d come into her room to comfort her after she\u2019d had a bad dream.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid if I let him go, I\u2019m never going to see him again. \u00a0That they\u2019re going to figure out how to keep him there, or that they\u2019ll kill him.\u00a0 That they\u2019ll Sever us and make him forget that he ever lived here, that he ever had a life<\/em> here, and me and all of our friends.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid they\u2019ll all die, that something\u2019s going to go horribly, horribly wrong and I won\u2019t be there to stop that.\u201d\u00a0 She shivered a little.\u00a0 \u201cI want to go with them, but I know that the Council will say no, that you\u2019ll say no\u2014that everyone will say no because it\u2019d just be too damned dangerous, that I\u2019m too valuable to risk.\u00a0 But I want to be with them.\u00a0 What good am I if I don\u2019t have anything left to balance me out?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was a slight shock to him that she had confirmed that she and Brendan were actually Bonded.\u00a0 He\u2019d suspected as much, but neither had actually ever said that they\u2019d gone through with it.\u00a0 That they would keep it a secret made sense to him\u2014the fallout could have been tremendous, given all the issues she\u2019d had with the Council in the past.\u00a0 He knew that Rachel must have known for certain\u2014hell, she\u2019d probably encouraged<\/em> it.\u00a0 There was probably a very, very short list of men and women who knew for certain what the pair had done.\u00a0 Ezra and Kara Grace, Rachel, and probably one or two others.\u00a0 That was fine.\u00a0 Secrecy was a legacy they still carried back from their foundations.\u00a0 Secrets kept them alive.<\/p>\n

He gave her a squeeze, then looked down at her.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re right, I wouldn\u2019t let you go with them.\u00a0 Couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 Your father would kill<\/em> me when he got here if I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughed a little at that, though she still sounded like she was on the very edge of tears.\u00a0 \u201cWould he?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam nodded gravely.\u00a0 \u201cGrant was very protective of your mother and your aunt.\u00a0 If he hadn\u2019t liked me, I never would have gotten anywhere near Rachel.\u201d\u00a0 Lindsay had never asked him about her parents.\u00a0 Those questions, what few of them that came, always went to Rachel.\u00a0 It was as if when she was a child she\u2019d never thought of Adam as having any answers for her about her mother and father, lost to her when she was such a young child.\u00a0 \u201cWhen he found out about she and I, he threatened to castrate me if I ever hurt her.\u00a0 Guess I\u2019m in for some trouble when he comes home, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughed a little again and squeezed him.\u00a0 \u201cI think you\u2019ll be okay, Uncle Adam.\u00a0 All of that wasn\u2019t your fault.\u201d<\/p>\n

Only some of it, Linny-pie.\u00a0 Only some of it.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cI suppose you\u2019re right, and I did<\/em> do a few things right.\u201d\u00a0 He rubbed her back gently.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, after the war started, when your aunt and I finally managed to find your parents\u2014and you\u2014we didn\u2019t know they\u2019d had you.\u00a0 You were about six months old and so, so quiet.\u00a0 I wondered if you were mute, really, until that first time I heard you cry.\u00a0 You were so tiny, especially when Grant held you.\u00a0 He\u2019s a big man, Linny-pie, almost as big as Aidan.<\/p>\n

\u201cA year later he told me that I had to take you and Rachel and leave.\u00a0 He ordered me to violate every oath I\u2019d ever taken to the Guard and to Mimir to get you and Rachel safely to this place.\u00a0 I almost said no.\u201d\u00a0 It was hard to think about.\u00a0 His dedication to his homeworld had warred with his love for Rachel, his loyalty to the Inner Collegium and to Grant Channing in specific.\u00a0 Grant was six years his senior and had been one of his first commanders\u2014and a dear friend, though perhaps not so dear as Frederick Rose had been.\u00a0 \u201cHe wanted America to go with us.\u00a0 She wouldn\u2019t.\u00a0 Rachel didn\u2019t want to go, either, but who was going to take care of you if she didn\u2019t?\u00a0 They couldn\u2019t keep you safe on a battlefield, and that\u2019s what New Earth space was for us then.\u00a0 The Commonwealth couldn\u2019t protect most of the Guard refugees anyway.\u00a0 It was here, hiding, or death.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou knew that?\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded slightly.\u00a0 \u201cSo did your father.\u00a0 That\u2019s why I said yes.\u00a0 It was a chance for our society to survive, for our knowledge to survive.\u00a0 You and Rachel and I and the other refugees who made it here, we\u2019re almost all that\u2019s left of the Guard.\u201d\u00a0 He sighed a little.\u00a0 \u201cAnd even here, in a place we helped build for ten generations, we\u2019re still feared.\u00a0 We helped make this possible, and still some people here would just as soon have us live in a commune on some island somewhere far away from them\u2014or not on the planet at all.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lindsay was quiet for a long few minutes, then sighed, closing her eyes and tightening her arms around him a little.\u00a0 \u201cWhen did you move back in with Aunt Rachel?\u201d\u00a0 She asked after the long silence.<\/p>\n

The change in subject almost made him laugh in relief.\u00a0 \u201cA couple of weeks ago.\u00a0 It seemed like time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI never understood why I had to keep it all a secret like that.\u00a0 Not until Brendan and I\u2026\u201d\u00a0 Her voice trailed away and she pressed her lips tightly together.\u00a0 \u201cIt must have been hard, Uncle Adam.\u00a0 To stop\u2026feeling her.\u00a0 To stop being with her.\u00a0 I remember her crying some nights when I was little.\u201d\u00a0 She licked her lips.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t want to go through that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam looked down at her, lifted her chin so she would meet his gaze.\u00a0 \u201cYou won\u2019t, Linny-pie.\u00a0 I promise.\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled a little.\u00a0 \u201cCan I hurt you if you don\u2019t keep it?\u201d<\/p>\n

He laughed, nodding.\u00a0 \u201cOf course you can, Linny-pie.\u00a0 Of course you can.\u201d<\/p>\n

*\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *<\/p>\n

Brendan was already in bed by the time she got home.\u00a0 It was dark outside and she\u2019d spent hours with Adam, going over tactical information and Ezra\u2019s plan to rescue her parents\u2014all in an effort for her to become more comfortable with the situation.\u00a0 She now found herself slightly more confident but still praying fervently the plan would work.<\/p>\n

Lindsay slipped into her darkened house and made her way into the bedroom, where Brendan was sound asleep.\u00a0 He lay on his side, one arm under his head, the other hand resting on her pillow.\u00a0 Their bedroom window was open, the chill of impending fall filling the room.\u00a0 She crawled onto the bed, knelt next to him, then leaned down and kissed him gently.\u00a0 He responded drowsily.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until three kisses later that he opened an eye.<\/p>\n

\u201cLin?\u201d he mumbled.\u00a0 \u201cWhat time is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPast eight, probably after nine,\u201d she guessed, taking off her shirt.\u00a0 \u201cHow long have you been sleeping?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThree hours?\u00a0 Maybe?\u201d\u00a0 He rubbed his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cWhere were you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWith U\u2014Marshal Windsor.\u201d\u00a0 I should really check with him and make sure it\u2019s okay to tell Brendan.\u00a0 The alternative will get confusing pretty quickly.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cWe were talking.\u201d<\/p>\n

Brendan winced.\u00a0 \u201cAbout the plan.\u201d<\/p>\n

She nodded, unfastening her pants and starting to shimmy out of them.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Brendan.\u00a0 I\u2019m\u2026freaking out less now, I think.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, good,\u201d he mumbled, eyelids drooping again.\u00a0 He was already starting to fall back to sleep.<\/p>\n

Can\u2019t have that.<\/em>\u00a0 She pushed him onto his back and straddled him\u2014<\/p>\n

\u2014and almost ended up on the floor as he jerked and yelped in pain.\u00a0 Lindsay clung to the edge of the bed, blinking.\u00a0 \u201cB-Brendan?\u201d<\/p>\n

He was half sitting up, now, propped on one elbow and clutching the back of his head with the other.\u00a0 His face was colorless and his lips were moving in silent curses\u2014in all the languages they both<\/em> knew, which was not an inconsiderable number of tongues.<\/p>\n

She inched closer and touched his arm.\u00a0 \u201cBrendan?\u201d\u00a0 It was then that she began to catch the edges of his pain.\u00a0 Oh god.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be fine,\u201d he whispered.\u00a0 \u201cJust steer clear of the back of my head for a few days and I\u2019ll be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou got a new implant!\u201d\u00a0 You idiot!\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t you tell me?<\/em>\u00a0 Her tone sounded more angry than she felt.\u00a0 It was more fear than anger that was coiling inside of her. \u00a0He\u2019d never wanted a new implant, and she\u2019d never wanted him to get one.\u00a0 It was never an issue, not something that ever came up.\u00a0 He was happy without one.\u00a0 Why get one now, Brendan?\u00a0 Why?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNeeded it to make the plan work, Lin,\u201d he said in quiet answer to her unvoiced question.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t need a Corp doctor slicing my head open, now do I?\u201d<\/p>\n

She bit her lip, sensing a ripple of fear coming off of him.\u00a0 She sat down with him on the bed, sliding her arms around his waist.\u00a0 He swallowed and leaned against her.\u00a0 \u201cI guess not.\u201d\u00a0 She ran her fingers through his hair for a moment, then gave him a squeeze.\u00a0 \u201cWhen did you do it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEzra did it today,\u201d he mumbled, resting his chin on her shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry I didn\u2019t tell you.\u00a0 You\u2019d have wanted to be there and I didn\u2019t want you there watching and worrying.\u201d<\/p>\n

She realized his eyes were bloodshot.\u00a0 She\u2019d never seen someone so soon after they\u2019d had wetware put in.\u00a0 He looked terrible.\u00a0 \u201cIt hurts a lot, doesn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d he said quietly, hand finally dropping away from his head.\u00a0 \u201cI should have told you.\u00a0 Guess I didn\u2019t expect you to flip me onto my back when you got home.\u201d\u00a0 He straightened a little and grinned at her.\u00a0 \u201cYou haven\u2019t done that in a long<\/em> time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGuess I haven\u2019t felt like I was up for it lately.\u201d\u00a0 It was true enough.\u00a0 Comforting though it was, she hadn\u2019t felt like making love to him in weeks\u2014there was too much else going on, too much insanity, too many memories swirling around in her head that would interrupt or otherwise sour her mood.\u00a0 Her fingertips traced along his hairline to his ear, then down his jaw.\u00a0 \u201cWould you rather just sleep?\u201d<\/p>\n

He shivered and stared at her, then smiled a little.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019d hate me if I said yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughed a little.\u00a0 \u201cI wouldn\u2019t hate you, Brendan.\u00a0 You just might not get another chance before you leave.\u201d\u00a0 And I don\u2019t want that to happen.\u00a0 I know that if we don\u2019t, though, that\u2019s what\u2019s going to happen.\u00a0 So just be with me tonight.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cGood thing I\u2019m not going to say no, then.\u201d\u00a0 He stretched a little, smiling wryly.\u00a0 \u201cJust be gentle with me for once, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

She poked him in the ribs, laughing.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re horrible.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re the one who loves me,\u201d he said quietly, arms closing around her.<\/p>\n

Lindsay grinned.\u00a0 You\u2019re right.\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 And I always will.\u00a0 I promise.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I walk along an empty street, Down a boulevard of shattered dreams. The city sleeps As I walk alone. My shadows are the only things who walk beside me, A shallow heart is all that\u2019s beating, But I wish someone … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-last-colony"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p25yjF-2b","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=135"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":137,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135\/revisions\/137"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=135"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=135"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=135"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}