{"id":206,"date":"2012-07-15T00:00:40","date_gmt":"2012-07-15T04:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/?p=206"},"modified":"2012-07-14T09:37:52","modified_gmt":"2012-07-14T13:37:52","slug":"chapter-twenty-eight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/?p=206","title":{"rendered":"Chapter Twenty-eight"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

The Eurydice Compact\u2014none of the other congolms\u2014appear to be above using children to achieve means to their ends.\u00a0 There is no heart left to them, no compassion.\u00a0 In my time among them, I managed to help a few to see the truth and learn to feel again, but it will never be enough.\u00a0 It will never be enough until they\u2019ve all been saved from themselves.<\/h3>\n

— Ambassador Alexander Channing, Psychean Guard, c. 5199<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

14 Novem, 5249 PD<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIs he any better?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ezra stirred from his doze at the sound of Alana\u2019s voice.\u00a0 She stood above him and she blinked blearily at her, eyes momentarily refusing to focus.<\/p>\n

Tired.\u00a0 What did she ask me?<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n

The corner of her mouth twitched slightly toward a smile but the smile didn\u2019t quite appear.\u00a0 \u201cBrendan.\u00a0 Is he any better?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh.\u201d\u00a0 Ezra rubbed the sleep from his eyes, stretching slightly.\u00a0 He glanced back over his shoulder, toward Brendan\u2019s bunk.\u00a0 He was still out like a light, his eyes already ringed by dark circles.\u00a0 \u201cNo,\u201d he said, shaking his head as he looked back up at Alana.\u00a0 \u201cNot really.\u00a0 I\u2019m still trying to figure out what happened.\u201d<\/p>\n

On the bunk across from him, Grant and America had fallen asleep, their bodies pressed together like a pair of spoons. Alana looked at them for a moment, then drew a blanket up over their sleeping forms.\u00a0 Ezra smothered a frown.<\/p>\n

Never seen her quite that tender.\u00a0 And considering the reaming that Commander Channing tried to give her\u2026what the hell was that all about?<\/em><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t safe to ask that question, though\u2014not quite yet, but soon enough.\u00a0 He settled on a safer question.\u00a0 \u201cWhen did they fall asleep?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA couple hours ago.\u201d\u00a0 Alana sat down next to him on the deck, resting her elbows against her knees, letting her hands dangle between the V of her legs.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re on autopilot in hyperspace.\u00a0 Even I<\/em> could pass out and we\u2019d be fine for at least another two or three hours.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow long since I apparently dozed off?\u201d\u00a0 Ezra rubbed his eyes again.\u00a0 His mouth tasted slightly sour, so it must have been at least three hours.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was at about 1500 Nova Spexi,\u201d Alana said.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a little after 1900 now.\u00a0 You feeling better yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ezra made a sound that wasn\u2019t a yes and wasn\u2019t a no.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t think I\u2019ll get any real sleep until we\u2019re back and I\u2019ve got Dr. Vilenauva or someone to back me up with Brendan.\u00a0 I\u2019d kill for something hot and stimulating right now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAll we\u2019ve got are stim patches,\u201d Alana said, looking at him sidelong.\u00a0 \u201cSorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Something else to look forward to when we make it home.\u201d\u00a0 Ezra stared back at her.\u00a0 \u201cWhat about you?\u00a0 Are you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy wouldn\u2019t I be?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ezra\u2019s nose wrinkled.\u00a0 \u201cSounded like Commander Channing was ready to go about twelve rounds with you if he could.\u00a0 What was that about?\u00a0 It sounded like you\u2019d met before.\u201d<\/p>\n

She winced, though the expression was there and gone so quickly that he almost didn\u2019t see it.\u00a0 \u201cWe had.\u201d<\/p>\n

Huh.\u00a0 Is that why she\u2019s so protective of Lindsay, then?<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n

Alana stared at him for a moment, then looked away, toward the mottled gray of hyperspace outside the ship\u2019s windows.\u00a0 \u201cWhen he helped me escape from the Compact,\u201d she said, her voice almost too quiet to hear over the hum of the ship\u2019s systems.\u00a0 \u201cIt was a long time ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe helped you escape?\u201d\u00a0 Why doesn\u2019t anyone know about this?\u00a0 Did Rachel know?\u00a0 Marshal Windsor?\u00a0 I know Brendan doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 Does Lindsay?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I doubt it.\u00a0 <\/em>He stared at her for a long moment, studied the set of her shoulders.\u00a0 She was tired, her body loose-limbed and sagging.\u00a0 He\u2019d never seen her quite like this before.\u00a0 He touched her shoulder gently.\u00a0 \u201cAlana?\u201d<\/p>\n

She almost flinched, fingers twitching, but she caught herself, sighing and resting her head against her knee.\u00a0 \u201cYes.\u00a0 No one knows.\u00a0 No one knew except for he and I.\u00a0 Rachel\u2026Rachel might have suspected a connection, but I never said anything and she never really managed to ask.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe did,\u201d Ezra said softly.\u00a0 \u201cShe said it to me when I went to try to get her to help me talk Brendan into coming along.\u00a0 Told me that you\u2019d do anything to protect Lindsay, her family\u2014maybe not Brendan, but Lindsay and her parents.\u201d<\/p>\n

Alana turned her head to look at him, a strange, pained expression on her face.\u00a0 \u201cDid she say that I wouldn\u2019t protect Brendan?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ezra admitted.\u00a0 \u201cBut she said she was pretty sure you didn\u2019t think they were a good match.\u201d<\/p>\n

She snorted softly.\u00a0 \u201cFor a long time, I didn\u2019t.\u00a0 The more I saw them together, the more I realized that it was a good thing that I didn\u2019t get to make the choice about who she should be with, because I started to realize that she really loves him and he really loves her, regardless of what I think of any of it.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t my choice and that was a good thing. Rachel did right by her\u2014by both of them.\u201d\u00a0 Her eyes slid closed for a moment and she sighed, lifting her head from her knees.\u00a0 \u201cBut if you tell him any of that before I\u2019m ready to say something, I\u2019ll have to kill you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ezra choked on a laugh.\u00a0 \u201cI believe you.\u201d\u00a0 He reached over and touched her shoulder, half expecting her to seize his wrist in an iron grip.<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t.\u00a0 She just looked at him and smiled faintly.\u00a0 \u201cYou do, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShouldn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI guess I don\u2019t know anymore,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve spent so long trying to make people feel that way.\u00a0 It\u2019s never felt strange before.\u201d\u00a0 Her gaze drifted away from him toward America and Grant.\u00a0 \u201cNo one ever goes looking for Alana Chase.\u00a0 People run away.\u201d<\/p>\n

A hollow feeling started to form at the pit of his stomach.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s not true,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cNot everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n

The corner of her mouth twitched slightly.\u00a0 \u201cYou and Rachel and Lindsay are apparently exceptions, and they\u2019re stuck with me.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure what your problem is.\u201d<\/p>\n

I think I love you.<\/em>\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t say the words.\u00a0 He just squeezed her shoulder gently.\u00a0 \u201cMaybe I\u2019m just special.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you are,\u201d she said.\u00a0 She kept staring at the pair on the bunk in front of them, comfortable in sleep, like two parts of a whole.\u00a0 In a way, Ezra supposed they were.\u00a0 Bonded couples were like that.\u00a0 Lindsay and Brendan certainly seemed that way most of the time, and so did a few of the other Bonded couples he knew back home.<\/p>\n

Alana\u2019s gaze shifted into a thousand yard stare as they sat there together.\u00a0 She folded her arms around her knees, looking small and vulnerable for the first time in all the years Ezra had known her.\u00a0 They sat together in silence, listening to the ship\u2019s hum and the sound of their companions breathing, the sound of their own breath, their own heartbeats.\u00a0 Alana shivered a little and Ezra got up, getting a spare blanket from a storage locker.\u00a0 He draped it around her shoulders and sank back down next to her, but she never looked up.<\/p>\n

What is she thinking about, I wonder?\u00a0 What is she remembering that she\u2019ll never talk to anyone about, holding it all inside until it eats her alive?<\/em><\/p>\n

Alana broke her silence a few moments later.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe didn\u2019t come looking for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho didn\u2019t?\u201d\u00a0 Ezra asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cCommander Channing,\u201d she said quietly.\u00a0 Her voice was small, reedy, as if she\u2019d been crying for a long time even though she hadn\u2019t made a sound.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019d come looking for Sandro.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSandro?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlessandro Chase,\u201d Alana said.\u00a0 \u201cHis brother.\u201d\u00a0 Her arms tightened around her knees.\u00a0 \u201cBut Sandro died when I was still a child.\u00a0 While they were doing\u2026this\u2026to me.\u201d\u00a0 She nodded to her metal-sheathed arm.\u00a0 \u201cCommander Channing found me instead.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ezra\u2019s voice came as a bare whisper, his heart pounding in his throat.\u00a0 \u201cHow did he find you instead?\u00a0 Searching for an A. Chase in the Compact database?\u201d\u00a0 Commander Channing is from the Compact.\u00a0 Did anyone know he\u2019d left family behind when he escaped?\u00a0 He got out young.\u00a0 I remember that part of the story.\u00a0 Did he even know how much he was leaving behind when his father got him out?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cHe sensed me,\u201d Alana whispered.\u00a0 \u201cI was the only person that felt like his brother to him.\u00a0 Their mother was dead.\u00a0 His father was the one who\u2019d gotten him to the Guard in the first place.\u00a0 Diplomatic immunity, all that.\u00a0 Channing was born a citizen of the Compact and a member of the Guard, but his father was an ambassador.\u201d\u00a0 She squeezed her eyes shut.\u00a0 \u201cI remember my grandmother saying that he tried to save her, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmbassador Channing.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t work out, though.\u00a0 She had to stay when he left.\u00a0 They tried to make her steal Commander Channing, too, to make sure the Ambassador couldn\u2019t take him back to Mimir.\u00a0 She refused.\u201d\u00a0 Tears glistened on Alana\u2019s face, squeezing out from behind Alana\u2019s closed lids.\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019d put her in his household to seduce him.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t expect that they\u2019d end up in love.\u00a0 Sure, they wanted her to have a child with him, but they wanted that child to be their<\/em> pawn\u2014not end up in the arms of their enemies.\u201d<\/p>\n

Blood pounded in Ezra\u2019s ears and he felt light-headed.\u00a0 This was a part of the story he didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 Does anyone know it?\u00a0 Rachel and America must.\u00a0 Marshal Windsor?\u00a0 The other Marshals?<\/em>\u00a0 His arm snaked around her shoulders.\u00a0 He winced at the tightness of her muscles, the rigid set of her shoulders.\u00a0 She was like a spring coiled too tight, waiting for the pressure to be released in one big explosion of energy\u2014or to snap.<\/p>\n

Her eyes blinked open.\u00a0 She stared at him for a long moment, swallowing twice, jaw trembling.\u00a0 Then she leaned into his embrace and let him gather her into his arms.\u00a0 She\u2019s kept this secret her whole life.\u00a0 Why?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you ever tell anyone any of this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wouldn\u2019t have helped me protect Lindsay,\u201d she whispered, voice thick, roughened by tears.\u00a0 \u201cSo why bother saying anything?\u00a0 It just didn\u2019t matter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlana.\u201d\u00a0 He tilted his head to make eye contact with her.\u00a0 \u201cWhy have<\/em> you been acting like a mother bear protecting her cubs around Lindsay for all these years?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI promised Grant,\u201d she said.\u00a0 \u201cHe let himself get caught so I could get away.\u00a0 He did that for me.\u00a0 But he made me promise to take care of my cousin because he wasn\u2019t going to be there to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her cousin.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cSandro was your father.\u201d<\/p>\n

Alana nodded, tears still oozing from her eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI barely knew him.\u00a0 But he and my grandmother\u2026before the Compact took me from them and trained me\u2026they made me understand what I needed to do, why I needed to do it.\u00a0 They told me everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

His stomach twisted.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s a heavy burden for a little girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes we don\u2019t get to choose,\u201d Alana said.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Ezra agreed.\u00a0 \u201cNo, we don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

He held her until she pulled away, wiped her eyes on the corner of the blanket, and squared her shoulders again.\u00a0 Traces of vulnerability disappeared behind her mask of quiet, strong competency as she got up, stretching slightly and heading back to the console.<\/p>\n

There was a trace of softness in her eyes, though, as she turned to look back at him before she dropped into the pilot\u2019s chair.\u00a0 \u201cThanks, Ezra.\u201d<\/p>\n

His heart gave a strange little double beat.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re welcome, Alana,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cAnytime.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Eurydice Compact\u2014none of the other congolms\u2014appear to be above using children to achieve means to their ends.\u00a0 There is no heart left to them, no compassion.\u00a0 In my time among them, I managed to help a few to see … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-206","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-last-colony"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p25yjF-3k","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=206"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":208,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions\/208"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=206"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=206"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}