{"id":307,"date":"2013-01-20T00:00:34","date_gmt":"2013-01-20T05:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/?p=307"},"modified":"2013-01-20T00:01:41","modified_gmt":"2013-01-20T05:01:41","slug":"three","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/?p=307","title":{"rendered":"Three"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Ghosts haunt our steps\u2014ghosts of our pasts, ghosts of our futures\u2014ghosts of our fears.\u00a0 The trick is learning to overcome them.<\/h3>\n

— Ambassador Alexander Channing, Psychean Guard, c. 5203<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

1 Decem, 5249 PD<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHave they noticed that you stopped hanging around as much?\u201d\u00a0 Ezra asked as he handed Alana a glass of wine from the bottle he\u2019d just opened.\u00a0 It was a new vintage from last year\u2019s crop at his sister\u2019s vineyard on the capital\u2019s outskirts.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sure they have,\u201d Alana said, leaning against the deck\u2019s railing.\u00a0 \u201cNo one\u2019s said anything, but I think they\u2019re smart enough to realize what\u2019s going on.\u201d\u00a0 She smiled as Ezra blushed.\u00a0 She reached up, the fingers of her flesh and blood hand brushing against his cheek and jaw.\u00a0 \u201cAnd you shouldn\u2019t be embarrassed about it.\u00a0 I knew how you were looking at me a long time ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ezra shook his head with a rueful smile. \u201cNo one else did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Rachel did,\u201d Alana said softly.\u00a0 She set her glass down and stepped into him, resting her head against his shoulder as Ezra slid his arms around her waist.\u00a0 \u201cShe kept dropping hints that Lindsay was a grown woman and she didn\u2019t need me hanging around and making sure she was safe.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know about my promise to Commander Channing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe didn\u2019t know that Lindsay was the only family you had left,\u201d Ezra said quietly.\u00a0 He kissed her temple, his arms tightening around her.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t blame you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not about blame,\u201d Alana whispered into his neck.\u00a0 \u201cIt can\u2019t be.\u00a0 Self-recrimination would eat me alive if it was about blame.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Lana\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

She shook her head, straightening and looking at him.\u00a0 \u201cNo, Ez.\u00a0 At some point, I have to confess everything to someone and that\u2019s going to be you<\/i> if this is going to work.\u00a0 If you and I are going to work.\u201d<\/p>\n

His expression softened and he cupped her face between his palms, thumbs brushing across her cheeks.\u00a0 \u201cI want this to work.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d she whispered, wetting her lips with the tip of her tongue.\u00a0 \u201cSo do I.\u00a0 I\u2019ve already told you more than I\u2019ve ever told anybody.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t usually happen with someone like me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWas it the way you were trained?\u201d he asked quietly.<\/p>\n

She nodded.\u00a0 \u201cThey took me from my family when I was so small,\u201d she said as she rested her forehead against his.\u00a0 \u201cI barely managed to figure out how to be human<\/i>, let alone something close to normal.\u00a0 To trust someone.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou trusted Commander Channing.\u00a0 You trusted Rachel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot the way I trust you,\u201d she said, swallowing hard.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re different, Ez.\u00a0 I want to tell you everything but I\u2019m so afraid it\u2019s going to scare you away.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not afraid of anything,\u201d he said, brushing hair back from her face.\u00a0 She winced and looked down and he froze.\u00a0 Ezra tucked his fingers under her chin and gently lifted her gaze to his.\u00a0 \u201cRight?\u201d<\/p>\n

There were tears in her eyes.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t think that anyone else had ever seen her cry.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlana.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe only thing I\u2019m afraid of is losing you somehow.\u00a0 Scaring you away.\u201d She buried her face against his neck and held on tight, as if she was afraid he\u2019d run right here, right now, before she had the chance to tell him anything beyond what he already knew.<\/p>\n

He knew that the Eurydice Compact had taken her from what little family she\u2019d had before her eighth birthday.\u00a0 He knew that they\u2019d trained her as one of their elite agents, as a killing machine.\u00a0 She\u2019d been good at it.\u00a0 Then Grant Channing had found her when he infiltrated the Compact, hunting for his half-brother, Sandro.\u00a0 He\u2019d found Sandro\u2019s daughter\u2014Alana\u2014instead.<\/p>\n

Then she\u2019d run from them and come here to safeguard Grant\u2019s only daughter, Lindsay.\u00a0 It was an all-consuming responsibility for the former conglomerate weapon.<\/p>\n

And now they were here, and she was free.<\/p>\n

\u201cI waited for almost ten years for you,\u201d Ezra said softly.\u00a0 \u201cAlmost from the day I realized that it was okay to have a crush on someone.\u00a0 There isn\u2019t anything you could say or do that would make me run.\u201d\u00a0 He laced his fingers through her hair.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve already heard horror stories, \u2018Lana.\u00a0 I know about the pain and the blood and what they ask people like you to do.\u00a0 But I also know that you\u2019re not like some of the monsters out there.\u00a0 Your father and your grandmother made sure of that before the Compact sunk their claws into you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the only reason I\u2019m sane,\u201d she said quietly, then managed a weak laugh.\u00a0 \u201cIf you could call me that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do,\u201d Ezra said.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re as sane as any of the rest of us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat doesn\u2019t say much for our collective sanity, does it?\u201d<\/p>\n

He laughed.\u00a0 \u201cI guess not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her arms tightened.\u00a0 \u201cI love you, Ezra,\u201d she said into his neck.\u00a0 It was the first time she\u2019d managed to say it since she\u2019d realized how she felt\u2014how he felt.\u00a0 Despite the past several days that they\u2019d spent together, the nights when they\u2019d been inseparable, she\u2019d never been able to voice how she felt.<\/p>\n

Now she had, and it sent shuddery butterflies racing around in her guts.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love you, too,\u201d he whispered, then kissed her ear.\u00a0 \u201cCome on.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go inside.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not even dark yet,\u201d Alana said softly.<\/p>\n

He smiled.\u00a0 \u201cThat just means we\u2019ve got more time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Alana laughed and let him lead her inside.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ghosts haunt our steps\u2014ghosts of our pasts, ghosts of our futures\u2014ghosts of our fears.\u00a0 The trick is learning to overcome them. — Ambassador Alexander Channing, Psychean Guard, c. 5203   1 Decem, 5249 PD \u201cHave they noticed that you stopped … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-two-ashes-to-ashes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s25yjF-three","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=307"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":309,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307\/revisions\/309"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}