{"id":392,"date":"2013-07-14T00:00:08","date_gmt":"2013-07-14T04:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/?p=392"},"modified":"2013-07-13T23:12:47","modified_gmt":"2013-07-14T03:12:47","slug":"twenty-five","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/?p=392","title":{"rendered":"Twenty-five"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\u201cI was a foolish child,\u201d Amanda said.\u00a0 \u201cBut I\u2019ve become even more foolish as an adult.\u00a0 Having a piss-poor childhood can do that to you.\u201d<\/h3>\n

— Willow McLeod, Beyond Lies<\/i><\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u00a016 Decem, 5249 PD<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWhere have you been?\u201d<\/p>\n

Alana froze in midstep, brows knitting briefly.\u00a0 \u201cThe forest.\u00a0 I needed time to clear my head.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI was worried.\u201d\u00a0 Ezra stared at her from an easy chair with a good view of his front door.\u00a0 He was sitting in the dark, alone.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have been,\u201d she said without thinking.\u00a0 \u201cI was only gone for a couple days.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Her throat tightened.\u00a0 He shouldn\u2019t have worried.\u00a0 Two days was nothing.<\/p>\n

So why was there a lump in her throat and why were her eyes stinging?<\/p>\n

\u201cA couple of days,\u201d he echoed.\u00a0 He got up from his chair and came to her as she let the door fall shut behind her, sealing out the dim of twilight and leaving them in darkness.\u00a0 His fingers were warm as they brushed her bare shoulders.\u00a0 \u201cYou disappeared for a couple of days after unleashing the rough side of your tongue on a Commonwealth Inspector.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t say anything to anyone.\u00a0 You left your meds on the counter and I couldn\u2019t tell if you\u2019d actually come back here before you just vanished.\u00a0 I had no idea what to think, \u2018Lana.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEzra,\u201d she stopped and gentled her tone, then started again.\u00a0 \u201cI just needed some space.\u00a0 I snagged my camping kit and just\u2026went.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t realize it\u2019d upset you like this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been worried half to death,\u201d he said, then sighed, one hand trailing down her bad arm, still cradled in the sling.\u00a0 \u201cYou must be in agony,\u201d he murmured.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe a little,\u201d she admitted.\u00a0 It was worse than that, but she wasn\u2019t willing to admit it yet.\u00a0 If she did, he\u2019d just give her medicine and put her to bed.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t ready for that yet.\u00a0 She wanted to lean into his chest and be held, but she didn\u2019t allow herself that luxury.<\/p>\n

Not yet.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cI overreacted,\u201d she said without preamble.\u00a0 \u201cI shouldn\u2019t have done what I did.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI forgive you.\u201d<\/p>\n

She felt his palm brush her cheek and sighed, leaning into the touch.\u00a0 She had gone too many years without gentleness, without warmth and comfort in someone\u2019s touch.\u00a0 Every second he was with her eased that ache inside, filled in a little more of the gaping hole.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2018Lana,\u201d he began.\u00a0 She shook her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Ezra, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry for bursting in there like some kind beast and I\u2019m sorry for disappearing after.\u00a0 It\u2019s a lot to take.\u00a0 I stood for it for so many years, kept my mouth shut for so long\u2026it\u2019s hard.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always known that the Commonwealth stood by while people suffered.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that sometimes, being here, I\u2019ve been able to forget.\u00a0 At least for a little while.\u201d<\/p>\n

She shivered as his arms closed around her, gentle and firm all at once.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt all turned out for the best,\u201d he murmured into her hair.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s all that you need to worry about.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I didn\u2019t<\/i> cause some kind of incident, then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe think too quickly,\u201d Ezra said.\u00a0 \u201cThough you need to thank everyone who was in that room and<\/i> your lucky stars that the Inspector wasn\u2019t offended.\u201d<\/p>\n

Alana nodded, resting her head in the crook where his neck met his collarbone and letting her eyes slide shut.\u00a0 Her foray into the woods had given her time and space to think, but it had been more lonely than she\u2019d ever recalled it being in the past.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s because you\u2019ve finally let someone other than Rachel and Lindsay inside your guard.<\/i><\/p>\n

Guard?\u00a0 What guard?\u00a0 The walls are down\u2014and those that aren\u2019t are already falling to pieces.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d she murmured after a few silent moments.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m glad.\u201d<\/p>\n

He held her a little longer before his arms loosened.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re shaking, \u2018Lana.\u201d\u00a0 The doctor pressed his hand to her forehead.\u00a0 It was blessedly cool.\u00a0 She could almost see his face in the dim, his brows knitting in concern, a frown touching his lips.\u00a0 \u201cAnd you\u2019ve got a fever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d she said softly.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not.\u201d<\/p>\n

She began to protest again, but her knees buckled and the words wouldn\u2019t come.\u00a0 The last thing she was conscious of was him sweeping her into his arms and cradling her like a child before blackness overwhelmed her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2022<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou sounded upset,\u201d Lindsay said as she and Brendan crowded in through Ezra\u2019s front door.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ezra looked like hell, shoulders stooped and deep shadows under his eyes.\u00a0 It was as if he hadn\u2019t slept since the meeting with Inspector Winston.<\/p>\n

He probably hasn\u2019t,<\/i> Lindsay thought.\u00a0 No one\u2019s seen Alana since then.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cSomething happen with Alana?\u201d\u00a0 Brendan asked, pushing the door shut behind them.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s sick,\u201d Ezra said flatly, turning away from them and heading back into his kitchen.\u00a0 \u201cShe came home today\u2014this evening\u2014and said she was sorry.\u201d\u00a0 He raked his hands back through his hair and exhaled heavily.\u00a0 \u201cShe didn\u2019t take any of her meds with her when she went out into the woods to do god knows what.\u00a0 I\u2019m worried.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course you\u2019re worried,\u201d Lindsay said, putting her hand on his arm.\u00a0 \u201cYou love her.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Ezra said, looking away.\u00a0 Lindsay squeezed his arm, then looked at Brendan.<\/p>\n

He smiled wryly.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t have to say it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll feed him.\u00a0 Go look in on her and see what\u2019s got him all knotted up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSome of the incisions are inflamed,\u201d Ezra said as he slumped into a chair at Brendan\u2019s urging.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m worried they\u2019re infected.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey might not be,\u201d Lindsay said as her stomach dropped.<\/p>\n

Alana knew the risks when she started on this path.\u00a0 This was her choice\u2014this was <\/i>everyone\u2019s choice for her.\u00a0 But she finally decided to do it.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cI hope not,\u201d Ezra mumbled, burying his face in his hands.\u00a0 Lindsay looked at Brendan, their eyes meeting.\u00a0 Brendan grimaced shaking his head and nodding toward the door.<\/p>\n

Lindsay sucked in a deep breath and ducked out, down the hall toward Ezra\u2019s bedroom.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t hard to imagine that Alana would be there, not the way she and Ezra had been acting recently.<\/p>\n

The lights in the bedroom were dimmed, though not turned off, and Alana lay on one side of the bed, tucked securely in with her bad arm lying swaddled in bandages above the covers.\u00a0 She was pale and a half-dried cloth lay across her forehead, probably once soaked in cool water to help her fever.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, the oldest techniques are the best.<\/i>\u00a0 Lindsay sat down on the edge of the bed, finding her cousin\u2019s other hand and squeezing her fingers gently.\u00a0 Alana stirred, shifting in the bed before her eyes cracked open.<\/p>\n

\u201cLindsay?\u00a0 Where\u2019s Ezra?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBrendan\u2019s making him eat something,\u201d Lindsay said.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re running a fever.\u201d\u00a0 She moved the cloth and pressed the back of her hand against her cousin\u2019s face.\u00a0 It was hot, but not as hot as she\u2019d feared from the look on Ezra\u2019s face.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d Alana murmured, shifting in the bed.\u00a0 She hissed in pain and went pale as she tried to move her bad arm.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, maybe almost<\/i> fine.\u00a0 That hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cConsidering all the work that he did?\u00a0 I\u2019m not surprised.\u201d\u00a0 Lindsay shook her head.\u00a0 \u201cWhat were you thinking, \u2018Lana?\u00a0 You had to know he\u2019d worry.\u00a0 And you left your meds here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI took the antibiotics with me,\u201d she said, her voice distant.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ve been carrying those with me.\u00a0 I just left the pain medication on the counter.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would you do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t think I\u2019d need them,\u201d Alana said softly.\u00a0 \u201cDo you think that they gave me drugs when they put that cyberware in<\/i>?\u00a0 They didn\u2019t, not really.\u00a0 They gave me what they needed to so I\u2019d keep quiet and then they gave me enough so I\u2019d be able to move\u2014nothing more.\u00a0 The pain\u2026Lin, I can\u2019t even tell you how much it hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWorse than now?\u201d\u00a0 Lindsay asked softly.<\/p>\n

Alana squeezed her eyes shut.\u00a0 Lindsay could see tears rimming her eyes, caught in her lashes.\u00a0 \u201cYeah,\u201d she whispered.\u00a0 \u201cThough not by much.\u201d \u00a0Her fingers tightened slightly.\u00a0 \u201cAm I being some kind of idiot, Lindsay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you want the truth?\u201d<\/p>\n

Alana nodded.\u00a0 \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re absolutely being an idiot,\u201d Lindsay said, then smiled wryly.\u00a0 \u201cBut at least your lover\u2019s a doctor.\u00a0 He\u2019ll put it all to rights again once Brendan\u2019s got him calmed down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHave I screwed things up?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProbably not that badly,\u201d Lindsay assured her.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t worry.\u00a0 He loves you.\u00a0 He won\u2019t stay angry\u2014he\u2019ll worry and watch you like a hawk, but he\u2019ll forgive you.\u00a0 Trust me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hope you\u2019re right,\u201d Alana said in a distant whisper, her eyes sliding shut again.\u00a0 \u201cI hope you\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cI was a foolish child,\u201d Amanda said.\u00a0 \u201cBut I\u2019ve become even more foolish as an adult.\u00a0 Having a piss-poor childhood can do that to you.\u201d — Willow McLeod, Beyond Lies \u00a016 Decem, 5249 PD \u201cWhere have you been?\u201d Alana froze … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-392","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book-two-ashes-to-ashes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p25yjF-6k","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/392","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=392"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/392\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":393,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/392\/revisions\/393"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}