{"id":85,"date":"2012-01-29T00:00:05","date_gmt":"2012-01-29T05:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/?p=85"},"modified":"2012-01-29T21:50:04","modified_gmt":"2012-01-30T02:50:04","slug":"chapter-five","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/?p=85","title":{"rendered":"Chapter Five"},"content":{"rendered":"

Somewhere in a time long-forgotten, now, psychics began a practice known colloquially as Bonding.\u00a0 It is a marriage, but it is also more than that.\u00a0 It is a binding together of two minds and two souls.\u00a0 It is for some the fusion of a soul with its better half.\u00a0 The practice, however, is never undertaken lightly. \u00a0That is because Bonding, for better or worse, is for life.<\/p>\n

— Robert Channing, Customs of the Psychean Guard<\/em> c. 5072 PD<\/h3>\n<\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

7 Octem, 5249 PD<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI gave one of your subordinates a direct order a couple days ago.\u00a0 I hope you don\u2019t mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her voice still made his skin prickle, even after all these years.\u00a0 It still caused a physical reaction, even though it had been easily ten years since they\u2019d been together\u2014ten years and more.\u00a0 Adam Windsor swallowed quietly, trying not to betray what he was feeling as he slowly turned away from the holographic topographical maps he was studying to look at Rachel Farragut.\u00a0 For a moment, he wondered who\u2019d let her in here, then remembered that she could get anywhere<\/em> she set her mind to getting to.\u00a0 For a heartbeat, he considered giving orders to the people who watched the front to not let her back here again without telling him.\u00a0 Another look at her dispelled all notion of that.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat depends, Rachel,\u201d he said carefully.\u00a0 His eyes drank in the sight of her.\u00a0 Had she worn those tight pants because she somehow knew how much he still wanted her?\u00a0 God, she\u2019s still beautiful.<\/em>\u00a0 Age had only heightened the attributes she\u2019d been born with, the ones that had drawn him to her like a moth to a flame.\u00a0 \u201cWhat order did you give and who did you give it to?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI told Brendan to start teaching his cadets like the war Lindsay saw starts tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

So she <\/em>did see a war in our future.\u00a0 It must be imminent, then.<\/em>\u00a0 He licked his lips.\u00a0 \u201cIs that what she saw?\u201d<\/p>\n

Rachel inclined her head, a dark curl brushing her cheek.\u00a0 His hand ached to brush that curl back behind her ear.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s what she told me she saw, anyway.\u201d\u00a0 She moved to his desk and perched on the corner.\u00a0 \u201cBrendan was worried you\u2019d tell him to go easier on the kids.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf there\u2019s a war coming, I\u2019d rather he run them ragged and get them the training they need to survive<\/em> the war.\u201d\u00a0 He rubbed his jaw, then exhaled, shaking his head.\u00a0 \u201cHow bad, Rachel?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t want to push her for too much detail.\u00a0 You saw her after the swarm.\u00a0 Would you have pushed her?\u201d<\/p>\n

He held his tongue, only because he knew that Rachel wouldn\u2019t have liked the answer he gave.\u00a0 He would<\/em> have pushed her niece\u2014their<\/em> niece\u2014for more information.\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s better that she and I never\u2026<\/em>\u00a0 He suppressed a sigh, convincing himself yet one more time that it was better that he and Rachel hadn\u2019t stayed together the way they\u2019d planned all those years ago.<\/p>\n

She sighed and looked away from him, at the maps.\u00a0 Adam swallowed, knowing that she\u2019d read him like a book again, with a look rather than ability.\u00a0 She\u2019d always been able to.\u00a0 It was foolish to try to stop her, to try to trick her.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d he tried quietly.\u00a0 \u201cBut you know what I\u2019m about, Rachel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d she said quietly, forestalling further explanation.\u00a0 \u201cI know what you\u2019re about, Adam.\u201d\u00a0 She looked up at him, eyes hard, expression cold.\u00a0 \u201cShe\u2019s my niece<\/em>, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d he said hoarsely, wondering why he felt choked up all of a sudden.\u00a0 Could it be that her disapproval still cut him to the bone?\u00a0 \u201cAnd you love her.\u00a0 I love that girl, too, Rachel.\u00a0 But she\u2026we\u2026\u201d\u00a0 He broke off, thoughts in a tangle, shame only growing.\u00a0 Hellfire and damnation, she\u2019s mine, too.<\/em>\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 It was all he could think to say.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should be.\u201d\u00a0 Her eyes were still on the maps, but he knew the look in them without a glance.\u00a0 She was ice again, ice hiding the fire.<\/p>\n

By god, did he want her.\u00a0 \u201cCommander Cho has my blessing in busting tail,\u201d he said finally, coming up with no better option, no other way to try to melt the ice, to break down the wall that had suddenly sprung up between them\u2014again, for perhaps the hundred thousandth time.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re right.\u00a0 It\u2019s necessary to get those kids trained up for whatever may or may not happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her voice was deceptively quiet.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s going to happen, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s a matter of when, and how.\u00a0 And who\u2019s going to hit us.<\/em>\u00a0 He exhaled, moving slowly toward her.\u00a0 \u201cRachel, I\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

She finally looked at him.\u00a0 The ice was gone, but so was the fire.\u00a0 She looked tired.\u00a0 Lost.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sorry, too, Adam,\u201d she said softly.\u00a0 She took his hand.\u00a0 He squeezed it, feeling lightheaded for a moment.\u00a0 \u201cNeither of our lives are easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

He shook his head.\u00a0 \u201cI think they\u2019re both about to get harder.\u201d<\/p>\n

She just nodded, closing her eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI think you\u2019re right.\u201d<\/p>\n

He wanted to hold her, wanted it so badly he could taste it.\u00a0 He could still taste the tears on her face when she\u2019d curled against his chest ten years ago, telling him it wouldn\u2019t work, that they couldn\u2019t keep living the way they were living.\u00a0 He could feel her nervousness and his that first time they\u2019d been together, the night before Mimir fell, in her apartment in the capital.\u00a0 He loved her still, the same way he loved her then.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s a grown woman, now, Rachel,\u201d he whispered, one hand drifting toward her arm.\u00a0 \u201cWe don\u2019t have to\u2026to worry about what anyone\u2019s going to think.\u00a0 What she\u2019s going to think.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was never just about Lindsay, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know that.\u201d\u00a0 It had been about a lot of things, including having a family together, about his work, about her stubborn refusal to give up on impossible revenge on whichever conglom had attacked Mimir first.\u00a0 They still didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 He was convinced that not even the conglom responsible knew anymore, given the chaos of the wars that hadn\u2019t ended until only a short while ago.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is a terrible time to think about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cEaglet, when is there going to be another time?\u201d\u00a0 He squeezed her arm.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t pull away, just looked down toward the floor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou haven\u2019t called me that in eleven years.\u201d\u00a0 Her voice was quiet, almost broken.<\/p>\n

It was true.\u00a0 He\u2019d almost forgotten.\u00a0 He tucked fingers under her chin, tilting her face up so he could take a long look into her eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t want to suddenly turn around and figure out that it\u2019s too late to be with you, Rachel.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been apart for so long, people don\u2019t remember us ever being together.\u201d<\/p>\n

She flinched.\u00a0 \u201cThat was by design, Adam.\u00a0 If they didn\u2019t know we\u2019d ever been together, no one would ever accuse you of any impropriety.\u00a0 It was for your career.\u201d\u00a0 She bit her lip.\u00a0 \u201cYou couldn\u2019t give it up and I\u2026I know I shouldn\u2019t have asked for that.\u00a0 But I did.\u00a0 And you said no.\u00a0 You were right to say no, as right as I was wrong to ask.\u201d<\/p>\n

He felt a pang of regret.\u00a0 Part of him would\u2019ve given it up for her, if not for the fact that he was terrified that he would have walked away from his calling only to lose her anyway.\u00a0 \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t give up revenge.\u201d<\/p>\n

A weak, wry smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.\u00a0 \u201cI wouldn\u2019t have, either, if Aidan hadn\u2019t managed to convince me we\u2019d never figure out who did it.\u201d<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know that Aidan will ever realize how big a favor he did me when he managed that.<\/em>\u00a0 Adam tucked a curl out of her face, behind her ear.\u00a0 She blushed a little, smiling.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou always used to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled weakly.\u00a0 \u201cI knew you meant it when you said we couldn\u2019t keep going the way we were because you cut your hair.\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019d gone military short with that cut\u2014no more curls.\u00a0 It had signaled their end as a couple.\u00a0 He\u2019d been sick at heart for days.\u00a0 They\u2019d fought about it.\u00a0 He\u2019d left, gone to set up a base across Oceana, Fort Solace.\u00a0 He\u2019d moved into the barracks when he came back, four weeks later, and left Rachel alone with Lindsay.\u00a0 He still regretted it.<\/p>\n

He was afraid he\u2019d always regret it.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was the only thing I could do.\u00a0 If I hadn\u2019t, I\u2019d have kept feeling\u2026\u201d\u00a0 She broke off, looking away again.<\/p>\n

His heart wrenched, twisting into a knot.\u00a0 \u201cRachel\u2026\u201d\u00a0 His hand fell away from her face.\u00a0 She was crying.\u00a0 He knew she was crying, even though there was no sound, no change in her posture, nothing.\u00a0 But still he knew.<\/p>\n

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.\u00a0 He gathered her into his arms, holding her against his chest.\u00a0 Brick by brick, the wall that had separated them for the past decade and more began to come apart, to crumble.\u00a0 He could feel<\/em> her again.<\/p>\n

\u201cI missed you,\u201d was all that she said.<\/p>\n

He laughed as his own tears gathered in his eyes.\u00a0 \u201cI missed you, too, Eaglet.\u00a0 I missed you, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u25cf\u00a0\u00a0 \u25cf\u00a0\u00a0 \u25cf<\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Somehow, they ended up tangled together on the floor behind his desk, as furtive and giggling as they\u2019d been almost thirty years before, when he\u2019d been a young officer on Mimir and she a wild-eyed diplomat\u2019s daughter, a teenager cut loose and out for a good time.\u00a0 He\u2019d loved her then and still loved her now\u2014more than anything.<\/p>\n

She grinned at him a little.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you thinking?\u201d\u00a0 She whispered.\u00a0 She was half on top of him, one leg draped over one of his, her knee against the soft part of his thigh.<\/p>\n

He grinned, almost boyishly.\u00a0 \u201cThat I was a fool to let you walk away.\u00a0 This takes me back a few dozen years.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMe too.\u201d\u00a0 She smiled, nuzzling his cheek.\u00a0 \u201cExcept we\u2019ll scare the living crap out of anyone who comes looking for you.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be terrible for your image.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam laughed, realizing he didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 \u201cLet the tongues wag!\u00a0 Who cares what anyone else thinks now?\u00a0 We\u2019re adults.\u00a0 You\u2019re a big girl.\u00a0 I\u2019m a big boy.\u00a0 We\u2019re both capable of making rational decisions on our own.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd we\u2019ve been Bonded for almost thirty years.\u201d<\/p>\n

Even if for the past ten no one would\u2019ve suspected it.\u00a0 <\/em>He smiled wryly, brushing stray curls out of her face again.\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s that.\u201d\u00a0 He stretched, one hand resting against the small of her back.\u00a0 \u201cBesides, I\u2019d be more worried about your<\/em> career, were I you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

She arched a brow.\u00a0 He smiled wryly.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Speaker is looking to retire from public life soon, Rachel.\u00a0 Go back to his farm and enjoy his grandkids for the rest of his life.\u00a0 Word around the Council is that he\u2019s eyeing you to replace him.\u201d<\/p>\n

Rachel laughed at that.\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t be serious, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

He blinked.\u00a0 \u201cWhy not?\u00a0 That\u2019s what\u2019s been said.\u00a0 Almost everyone\u2019s said it.\u201d\u00a0 He frowned.\u00a0 \u201cExcept for D\u2019Arcy, but I\u2019m not sure he really likes you that much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHe doesn\u2019t, but the feeling is mutual.\u201d\u00a0 She rested her head on his shoulder.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t be Speaker, Adam.\u00a0 I\u2019d muck too much up.\u00a0 It\u2019s the same reason why I refused to play ambassador to NeCom.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe New Earth Commonwealth is a joke<\/em>, Rachel.\u00a0 It has no teeth to keep the peace.\u00a0 It\u2019s not going to last.\u201d\u00a0 They had, for a time, wished and hoped it would.\u00a0 A futile hope, a wasted wish.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey said four hundred years ago that the Foundation was a joke, that it couldn\u2019t possibly succeed.\u00a0 Look at us now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam grimaced.\u00a0 \u201cYeah.\u00a0 Relying on NeCom\u2019s Colonial Office to make sure no one tries to claim anything in this system.\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled wryly.\u00a0 \u201cWell, that\u2019s why we\u2019ve got our military, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSuch as it is.\u201d\u00a0 He stretched, then sighed.\u00a0 \u201cIf anyone shows up in major force, we could be in deep trouble, Rachel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d she sighed.\u00a0 \u201cBut what can we do about it, Adam?\u00a0 You and the other Guardians have never\u2026don\u2019t look at me like that!\u00a0 You\u2019ve never made noises about needing more than what we have.\u201d<\/p>\n

He sighed, thumping his head slightly against the floor.\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019d always talked about it in private, behind closed doors.\u00a0 The Council\u2026most of them are pacifists, Rachel.\u00a0 They put up with us because we keep their precious dreams safe and keep the world \u2018pure.\u2019\u00a0 There\u2019s a bare handful that would agree to what we\u2019d ask for if we could.\u00a0 So why create the ruckus?\u00a0 We haven\u2019t really needed<\/em> much more than what we have, no, not until someone, someday shows up in-system with a couple of frigates and a carrier, maybe a few troop transports.\u00a0 The day that happens is the day we\u2019re in some very, very serious trouble.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be too late.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what do we do?\u201d<\/p>\n

He frowned.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d he said finally.\u00a0 \u201cBut we\u2019ll figure it out.\u00a0 We always do.\u201d\u00a0 Aidan and I will have to talk.\u00a0 We\u2019ll come up with something.<\/em><\/p>\n

She was quiet for a long moment.\u00a0 \u201cWe should get off the floor, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

He laughed.\u00a0 \u201cSuddenly uncomfortable?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think my hip fell asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t aware hips could do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

She punched him, gently, then grinned as she started to untangle herself.\u00a0 He chuckled and started to get up off the floor, offering her a hand up after getting to his feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne big difference between then and now,\u201d he said, pulling her up to her feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d\u00a0 She leaned into his chest for a moment, smiling wryly.\u00a0 He grinned back.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy joints creak now when I stand up.\u201d<\/p>\n

She laughed and poked him in the belly.\u00a0 \u201cThey do not, you big ox.\u00a0 Now where\u2019s my shirt?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProbably under the desk with my shoes.\u00a0 Want me to help you get it?\u201d\u00a0 He leered at her a little.\u00a0 She swatted him again.<\/p>\n

\u201cAwful,\u201d she murmured, crouching to retrieve her shirt.\u00a0 \u201cYou have work to do, Adam.\u00a0 Do you want me<\/em> to call Aidan, or are you going to do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll call Aidan and Daciana myself.\u201d\u00a0 Daci won\u2019t be happy to get the call, but it\u2019s high time she pry herself away from her secret projects to come up here and have a good, long chat with Aidan and I.\u00a0 Hopefully she\u2019s come up with something down there at Urgathe that\u2019ll help us fend off an attack\u2014or twelve.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cOh, so she\u2019s still alive?\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam winced and nodded.\u00a0 \u201cNo one actually thought she was dead, did they?\u201d<\/p>\n

Rachel shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m sure more than one or two did, to be honest.\u00a0 There was some question about her sanity, too, when Frederick died.\u201d<\/p>\n

He held his tongue and kept a tight rein on his thoughts.\u00a0 That was the larger secret, in fact, and he was shocked that it had been kept for this long.\u00a0 Frederick Rose wasn\u2019t dead. \u00a0He was hiding at Urgathe and letting his supposed non-existence shield him from the hunters he most assuredly would have brought to E-557 from New Earth space had his survival even been rumored.\u00a0 If there was anything that was a bigger , more closely guarded secret than Lindsay\u2019s status as the Oracle, it wasFrederick\u2019s survival of the several attempts on his life that supposedly killed him\u2014and very nearly succeeded in doing so.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got that look, Adam.\u201d<\/p>\n

He tried not to look sheepish.\u00a0 \u201cI have it for a good reason, Rachel.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s need-to-know and I don\u2019t need to know?\u00a0 I would\u2019ve thought we\u2019d outgrown that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wish we had,\u201d he sighed, sliding his arms around her waist and kissing her jaw, then her cheek, then her eyes.\u00a0 \u201cYou said you had work to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do,\u201d she admitted, looking up at him as she straightened her shirt.\u00a0 \u201cMore than I\u2019d like to think about.\u201d\u00a0 She kissed him gently, then stepped back from him.\u00a0 \u201cWhen do you want to move back in?\u201d<\/p>\n

His brows went up.\u00a0 \u201cWhat?\u00a0 That fast?\u201d<\/p>\n

She shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cNo reason for you not to, Adam, and I\u2019m tired of living alone.\u00a0 And it\u2019s bloody hard cooking for one.\u201d<\/p>\n

He smiled at her.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll bring the first load over tonight.\u00a0 Do you want me to bring dinner, too?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat depends.\u00a0 Are you cooking, or is someone else cooking?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll cook.\u201d<\/p>\n

She grinned.\u00a0 \u201cThen you\u2019re bringing dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

He grinned back.\u00a0 \u201cGood.\u201d\u00a0 He kissed her again.\u00a0 \u201cGo on, get out of here.\u00a0 We\u2019ve both got work to do.\u201d\u00a0 He watched her go, unable to wipe the smile off his face, even as he turned back to his desk to start figuring out how he was going to pry Daciana Rose away from her projects and her husband.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Somewhere in a time long-forgotten, now, psychics began a practice known colloquially as Bonding.\u00a0 It is a marriage, but it is also more than that.\u00a0 It is a binding together of two minds and two souls.\u00a0 It is for some … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-85","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-last-colony"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p25yjF-1n","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=85"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":88,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85\/revisions\/88"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=85"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=85"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.embklitzke.com\/e557\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=85"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}