Love.  Love is what keeps us alive—all of us, from the greatest to the smallest, from the strongest to the weakest.  Without love, we are nothing and our worlds have no meaning.

— Ryland LeSarte

9 Decem, 5249 PD

“Whatever you’re cooking smells wonderful,” Brendan mumbled as he slumped into a chair at the kitchen table.

Lindsay smiled over her shoulder at him.  “Just some venison and veggies from the garden,” she said.  “I wasn’t going to wake you for a little longer yet.”

He shrugged with one shoulder and winced at the twinge of pain in his neck.  “I wasn’t really asleep.  Just laying there.  Starting to go a little stir-crazy, but I can’t stand up for more than a few minutes without getting dizzy, still.”

She abandoned the stove and came to him, running her palms across his shoulders and down his spine.  Brendan closed his eyes and exhaled quietly, the touch sending the best kind of shivers through him.  He bowed his head slightly, wincing as stretching muscles put a little stress on the still-bandaged sutures along the back of his head and neck, then exhaled quietly.

“You should tell Ezra when he comes over tonight,” she said, kissing his ear lightly.  “Make sure that’s normal.”

Brendan opened his eyes and glanced at her.  “Ezra’s coming over?”

She nodded.  “With Alana.  They’ve been pretty reclusive since he started working on her arm and I figured that maybe they could use some time out of seclusion.”

He blinked blearily at her, processing what she’d just said.  I never actually thought Alana would go through with that.  “So she didn’t change her mind?”

“She went through with it.  He’s done a lot of the work already, I guess, but they’ve been sticking close to home.  I don’t know why.  She wasn’t around when I caught up with him downtown.”

Brendan nodded slightly.  “Good,” he murmured.  “I’m…happy that she did it.”

“So am I,” Lindsay admitted, squeezing him briefly.  “Do you want something hot to drink?  I’ve got the kettle on.”

Flexing cold fingers, he nodded slightly a second time.  “Please.  And one of those giant pills Ezra left for me.”

She winced as she straightened and turned away.  “Headache?”

“The beginnings of one, anyway,” he said.  “If they’re coming for dinner, the last thing I want is to be completely laid up for the visit.”

Lindsay nodded.  “Probably not a good idea.”

They lapsed into silence as she made his tea and brought it over.  She joined him at the table with a cup of her own and wrapped a hand around one of his, squeezing tightly.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, an uncomfortable flutter taking up residence in his stomach.

“Nothing, really,” she said quietly.  “Just that things are starting to get interesting.  I…I know we talked about the Whispers.”

“Yeah.  It’s been getting worse in the big wide everything, then?”

“You could say that.”

His fingers tightened around her hand.  “Are we in danger, Lin?”

“Not yet,” she murmured.  “Probably sooner rather than later, though.”  She stared down into her mug.  “Uncle Adam’s worried.  He’s pretty keen to get you back to training pilots, at the very least, even if he can’t put you in the cockpit again yet.”

Fantastic.  That means that everything’s about to hit the fan.  Brendan massaged his forehead with his free hand, frowning.  “It’s going to be at least a few more days.”

“Days?”

If he’s concerned enough to tell her, I don’t think we can afford weeks.  “I think it’s got to be days,” he said after a moment of silence.  “We’ll find a way to do it.  I’ll find a way to do it.  If he needs me, then he needs me.”

Her hand tightened painfully.  “Brendan—”

He looked at her and she flinched, sighing quietly.

“I know what you’re going to tell me,” she said softly.  “You’re going to tell me that it’s as much for me as it is for everyone.”

“It’s not a lie,” he murmured.

“I know it’s not.  That doesn’t make it easier to take.”  She sighed, her fingers tightening one more time before she stood up.  “I need to finish dinner.”

“Do you need any—”

“Help?”  She smiled and shook her head.  “No.  Relax.  The last thing I want you doing is puking all over our floor because you’re too dizzy to keep your stomach under control.”

He managed a weak laugh and wrapped his hands around his mug, staring into its depths.  “Sure.  Guess you’re right.  I just don’t like feeling useless.”

“You’re not,” Lindsay said quietly.  “You’ve got no idea how hard it was, being here without you.  I was terrified I was going to lose you.”

He pushed himself up from the table and went to her, ignoring sudden double-vision and the way his stomach lurched.  Both vanished as he put his arms around her.  “Never,” he breathed as he buried his face in her hair.  “Never.”

 

•           •           •

 

“Stop trying to move it, ‘lana,” Ezra growled, glaring at her as he fumbled with the sling’s straps.  “Every time you move, it pulls something out of alignment and I’ve got to start over.  Just makes this whole process longer.”

And more annoying.  “If you stopped hurting me, I’d stop moving,” Alana retorted, glaring right back at him.  The concern and frustration in his eyes took her heart out of it, though, left her feeling vaguely guilty for snapping.

I shouldn’t take this out on him—no matter how much it hurts.

Ezra shook his head.  “You’re a terrible patient.”

“I did try to warn you.”  She held still long enough this time for him to get the sling in place.  They’d underestimated how atrophied her bones and muscles would be when he’d started working on her arm.  Hairline fractures in her forearm and wrist bones had her in the sling and a cast now—the former more to prevent further injury to her reconstructed limb and the latter to keep everything in alignment while it healed.

It was clunky and awkward and she hated it.

But it’ll help me be normal.  That’s what I want.  Not the old normal.  Actual normal.

            Live my life without constantly being reminded of my past kind of normal.

Ezra kissed her neck and she sighed quietly, glancing at him.  His brows knit.

“We don’t have to—”

“Yeah we do,” she said.  “We told her we were coming.  She’s rolling Brendan out of bed for it.  You’ve been looking forward to this all day and I…” she sighed again.  “I should be the one to tell them what the newsnets are saying before someone else does.”

He winced and slid his arms around her, holding on for a few moments and resting his chin against her white-blonde hair.  “You’re right,” he said quietly.  “Better we tell them than someone else does.”

“I just hope one of the Marshals hasn’t said something yet,” Alana murmured, closing her eyes and leaning again him for just one extra moment longer than she should have.  Ezra’s arms tightened and she exhaled softly.  “I’d rather deal with the fallout myself than make Lindsay deal with it alone.”

Ezra frowned.  “Do you really think it’ll be that bad?”

“Oh, I have no doubt,” she said.  “None whatsoever.  Look at how you reacted.”

He winced again.  “Right.  Well, then I guess it’s best it’s us, then.”

“Absolutely,” Alana said.  She sucked in a breath, then got up.  “Come on.  Shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

“Probably not,” Ezra agreed.  He put his arm around her waist and squeezed her against him.  “We’ll drive up.  Easier than walking.”

Less time getting stared at on the street more like.  Alana nodded.  “Yeah.  Let me get my jacket.”

He kissed her jaw.  “I’ll meet you outside.”

She watched him go and smiled weakly to herself.  I don’t deserve…  She stopped the thought before it was fully formed.  He’d chosen her.  She was the one he wanted.

The one he wanted.

It was still taking a lot of getting used to.

She snagged her jacket from the bedroom that had been his that was becoming theirs and wrapped it around herself.  It was less to protect her against the evening chill than to hide her arm.

I was always self-conscious about it when it was a metal monstrosity.  Now that that the cyberware’s gone…  She sighed and shook her head at herself.  Maybe I’m just self-conscious about everything and that was my excuse for being that way.  Maybe.

“‘lana?”

“I’m coming.”  She glanced in the mirror and smiled at her own reflection for the first time in a long while.  Despite everything, he’d picked her.  There had to be something that made her beautiful to him.

Maybe it’s time to just let it all go, right now, today.

Forever.

She tugged her jacket a little closer and walked out the door.