Tia and I didn’t stay to hear whatever Rin told Garrett on the phone. We lingered for another half an hour, made plans to meet up the next day downtown, then Tia and I drove back to the city. She dropped me off at home and I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to make sense of Austin’s research for the six hundredth time since he’d been taken away.
Whatever you were close to, Austin, I wish you’d left me more clues so I could find it because right now, I am so lost.
Some things never changed.
I texted Tristan as soon as I got home with a message that we probably needed to talk sometime before his date that night. He didn’t answer, but he usually didn’t when I sent him messages like that—he usually just showed up.
Today was no exception.
I was at the kitchen table, stacks of paper and file folders strewn across the wood, my sixth cup of coffee locked in one hand as I re-read a news article Austin had clipped for the fifth time, trying to figure out what in it had caused him to save it. About half the time, that’s what I ended up doing when I went through his research—spent hours and brain cells trying to track his logic. Sometimes I succeeded. Usually I didn’t.
It had always been that way—Austin could see connections between things in ways that I just couldn’t.
The front door opened and Tristan slipped inside, locking the door behind him. He was in the same suit jacket and slacks he’d been wearing that morning, but now he came in with a travel mug in one hand, probably full of a latte from the shop up the street that we both liked. In his other hand, he had a paper to-go cup—probably my usual.
“Find anything?” he asked as he gently took my coffee cup from my hand and replaced it with the to-go cup.
“No,” I said. “Not yet. That wasn’t why I texted you.”
His brows went up and he slid into the chair next to me. “Okay. What’s up?”
I pried the lid off my cup and took a sip before I answered him. “Tia found me this morning.”
“Tia Leeds? That Tia?”
“Yeah. That Tia.”
Tristan slumped slightly against the back of the chair. “Oh. How?”
“She’s clever as hell, that’s how.” I scrubbed a hand over my face. “I told her what’s going on. Then she dragged me to see Rin.”
“…so they both know.”
“Yeah.”
“Did they ask about me?”
I chewed my lip. “Tia asked about Tristan. She bought the line I gave her.”
“Did they ask about Jenna?”
I nodded.
His lips thinned. “What did you tell them?”
“The truth. Jenna’s gone,” I said. “That it’s just the four of us—them, me, and Seren. Rin was going to get a hold of Seren and tell her what’s going on. We’re going to meet at the coffee shop tomorrow at ten.”
Tristan nodded slowly, staring blankly at the papers on the table. He groped for my hand, tugging it away from my cup so he could lace his fingers through mine. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I—I don’t know what I’d do, Autumn. They—they’re better off this way.”
I squeezed his hand. “You trusted Austin and I,” I said. “That’s not a trust I’d betray, Trist. Whatever you want, I’m right here. Two hundred percent, all the way.”
He leaned in and kissed my cheek, smiling faintly at me, though I could see pain flickering in his eyes. “Thanks.”
“Of course.”
“So that’s what you wanted to tell me? That they found you and they know?”
I nodded. “Tia and Rin are definitely in. I guess we’ll see about Seren. How much or how little they find out about you and your involvement in all of this is up to you.” I paused, reaching with my free hand for my cup and taking another quick sip, buying time to figure out how I was going to tell him the next part. “Garrett knows I was there last night.”
Air fled his lungs like a deflating balloon and Tristan slumped even further. “He saw you?”
“On the news,” I said. “He called Rin while I was there. She—” I had to stop as my throat constricted. Why did the truth hurt so much? “She said that he told her it was a good thing he didn’t see me in the moment because he probably would have tried to kill me.”
And in the state I was in at the time, I probably would have just stood there and let him.
“No,” Tristan breathed. “He didn’t say that, did he?”
“That’s what she said.” I gulped down some more coffee. “I don’t have any reason to doubt it, either. Besides, if Kalstrixa’s still got some kind of grip on—”
“We have to find a way to fix that,” Tristan said, cutting me off. “There’s got to be a way.”
“We haven’t found one in almost thirteen years,” I said, swallowing the bile that rose in my throat. It made me sick to think of it, of what she’d done, of what she’d robbed him of—what she’d taken from both of us, from all of us.
He had been the closest and most trusted ally we had. He’d been a part of us as much as Austin had been, maybe even more.
When Kalstrixa captured him, the loss had been devastating. Rescuing him had almost been worse.
It had almost broken us. If anything ever could, it would have been that.
At least, that’s what I’d always thought. Now, I feared what she’d do to Austin—and what it would do to the rest of us.
“There has to be something,” Tristan said. “We’ll figure it out, Autumn. We’ll find something. Like you said. It’s been almost thirteen years. There’s got to be something that we haven’t tried yet—that he hasn’t tried yet.”
Distance had kept us both safe—I’d stayed away from him and he’d stayed away from me. “If I get too close, Trist, he’ll try to kill me. That’s what she wanted him to do and we both know that he hasn’t been able to erase that compulsion, no matter how much any of us want him to.” However Kalstrixa had managed to lay that compulsion on him, it was far too strong for him to resist—no amount of strength of will could break it, though I knew that he’d tried and that he’d managed at least a few times to resist it, but resistance wasn’t a permanent solution.
Distance, so far, had been.
“It doesn’t matter,” I whispered. “We’ve got so much other stuff that we need to worry about first. He’s not going to want to be a part of this anyway. It’s too dangerous for him.” Too dangerous and the scars run too deep. I knew he was afraid. All of us were, but him most of all—and with good reason.
“Do you think she’ll tell him?”
“Who, Rin?”
Tristan nodded slowly.
“Tell him what?”
“About Austin,” Tristan said. “About what happened.”
I closed my eyes, sighing. “I don’t know. I really don’t know, Trist. I guess I’ll find out one way or another.” I looked at him. “Did you figure anything out?”
“Building was acquired when we bought Amaranthe Technical last year,” Tristan said. “Half of it we’ve already converted over to lab space. They’re working on a bunch of different projects, none of which sound like anything Kalstrixa would be interested in. The other half is still storage from Amaranthe, though, and we don’t have a full inventory of what’s in those storage rooms yet.”
“So it could be anything,” I said softly.
“Yeah. Sorry about the shit answer, but that’s all I’ve got.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “We’ll figure it out. There are more of us now. We’ll put our heads together. Something’ll pop. Something. Somehow.”
“Maybe I should cancel tonight.”
“Don’t,” I said. “You deserve some normal before shit really hits the fan. I’ll even come and babysit like you asked.”
“You don’t have to,” he said, then pressed a kiss to my temple. “I’ll be a big boy. I’ll check in when I head home, okay? Stay here. Try to figure this out—or don’t. Get some sleep. You look like you’ve been through the wringer and it’s only two o’clock.”
I laughed. “Is that why you don’t want me to come tonight?”
“Only because I know that look on your face. You need the rest. I’ll bring you some takeout.”
I leaned my shoulder into his. “You know that you’re the best friend a girl could ask for, right?”
“Well,” he said, staring at me. “I try, anyway.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “Thanks for the heads-up. What time are you meeting them tomorrow?”
“Nine-thirty. We can still have breakfast if you want.”
“Mm. I have a meeting at nine. Let me know what happens, okay? Or—or if you need me.”
It made my heart a little lighter that he’d offer that, all things considered. I kissed his cheek gently. “I’ll be okay. I’ll tell you all about it after, okay?”
“Okay,” he agreed softly, squeezing me one more time.
Then he stood up slowly, almost reluctantly. “You going to be okay?”
“Yeah,” I said, and oddly enough, it didn’t feel like a lie for the first time in a long time. “Yeah, I think so. Leave me to trying to figure out what Austin was thinking. I’ll text you if I come up with anything.”
“All right,” Tristan murmured, drifting toward the door. “Don’t stay up too late, huh? Get some rest.”
“I will,” I promised. He nodded slightly.
I watched him go, aching inside. Somehow, I knew he was hurting more than usual—hurting over something that was eating away at his heart. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I was afraid I knew.
I didn’t want to force him into anything. I loved him too much for that.
I loved all of them too much for that.
Whatever he decided, I’d stand by him.
I just hoped he knew that.
